What does running a small business do for your mental health? Lots of things, really. When I started 29 AND 11 I had no idea how much of it would consume my thoughts. I mean deep down inside I knew that I’d have to deal with my imposter syndrome flaring up sporadically or figure out how to keep the comparison to a minimum so it wouldn’t steal my joy…But I’ve also surprised myself at how easily it has been to keep going and how easily the negative thoughts have been outweighed by the positive. So in the spirit of being an open book, I thought you might be curious to know what owning a small business has done to my overall general day to day psyche.
Let’s unpack this, shall we? First and foremost - I think I have been pretty transparent that imposter syndrome has had a starring role in my life. I literally can barely acknowledge to myself that I am a legitimate small business owner that not only pays taxes, but creates, designs, produces, and sells something that came out of my own head. And of course I love what we do, but who’s to say it resonates with everyone else? In my good moments I am sure we’ll take the world by storm and be a small part of some bigger narrative about how religion and faith has reclaimed it’s rightful non-political centerstage in modern culture and we all love each other and respect each others journeys no matter how messy. On my bad moments, I’m like - who would even like this crap that I come up with in my head…It’s a toss up on which scenario is playing out at any given moment.
Next, let me say that without a doubt I wholeheartedly believe that comparison is the THIEF of joy. Like, suck all the wind out of your sails and make you want to close all the blinds, kind of thief. And the thing is, we all do it. Whether we want to or not. We are hardwired to. And I remember Chelsea Handler in some interview saying that she called her sister and was like ‘I am so jealous of this person (For whatever reason) and I’m so pissed at myself for even feeling this way. Like, why can’t I just be happy for her, dammit?’ And her sister was like - It’s fine to say that out loud to me (And no one else), but do it and then let it go. And so that’s what I give myself permission to do - I say it out loud (To myself shut in my bathroom of course), and then I let it go. Because to be honest (And I don’t know if it’s just the water in our zip code), but 76109 is FILLED with female entrepreneurs who are literally slaying it. Like not one, but dozens. Here’s the next feature for FTW Magazine if you're listening - ‘What’s in the water in the 109?’.
So the last thing that’s maybe surprised me the most is how easy it has been to keep going. Everyone who starts a small business has big dreams - you know, like Oprah’s Favorite List big. But things like that are the exception - the rare gem that barely needed polishing because it was so good (Hello, Spanx). Owning a business has its crazy days and its quiet days. And it’s in those quiet, especially hot Texas summer/holidays haven’t even started yet days that you can get nice and messed up in your head about whether your dream was a good idea or not to follow. Then something happens - a rush of orders, a publication committing to featuring you, a fresh round of perfect samples coming back, or the order from Mexia, TX with a note that something you made resonated with them so deeply. Whatever the crumb is, it keeps you going. I also love when Jamie Kern (IT Cosmetics) talks about this. She says that it’s a lot easier to keep going if your purpose is bigger than you. PREACH!!
And that it is. My purpose isn’t about me, because if it was I would have stopped at just wearing my designs around my neck. I want you to know what we do and why. And that’s to honor your own individual journey of faith to God. And to know that our company was born from a personal desire to display our own faith in a new and unique way. Know that our end game is to offer you a way to start a conversation, to create a connection, to open a door to sharing a piece of your journey with others.
And that it is. My purpose isn’t about me, because if it was I would have stopped at just wearing my designs around my neck. I want you to know what we do and why. And that’s to honor your own individual journey of faith to God. And to know that our company was born from a personal desire to display our own faith in a new and unique way. Know that our end game is to offer you a way to start a conversation, to create a connection, to open a door to sharing a piece of your journey with others.
We do all the fear, the joy, and the anxiety for you and Him.
XOXO,
